Sunday, January 17, 2010
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Catherine of Siena
On Tuesday April 29th we will honour Catherine Benincasa, perhaps more commonly known as St. Catherine of Siena. She was a reformer and spiritual teacher in fourteenth century Italy.
“Born at Siena in the year 1347, she devoted herself to prayer and meditation from a very early age. Her family opposed and harassed her, until her steadfast purpose wore them down and they let her become a postulant in the order of Dominican nuns. For several years she underwent a series of terrible visions and at times felt utterly abandoned by the Lord. This lonely struggle ended at nineteen, when she experienced a vision of the Saviour, with Mary and all the heavenly host, in which Christ espoused her to himself. Catherine became a nurse, caring for patients whom other nurses hated to treat, people with leprosy and cancer. In time she gathered a mixed group of disciples, and together with them she went on extensive tours to preach the gospel.
Soon afterwards she began another mission – this time, to heal a schism which had split the Church between two rival Popes, on in Rome and one in the French city of Avignon. She went to Rome and publicly fasted, attending the Eucharist every day in order to pray for the unity of the Church. The strain of this last campaign proved too much for her and, felled by a stroke, she died on April 29, 1380 at the age of thirty-three.” – An excerpt from For All The Saints
Taught by her example, let us pray for peace and unity within the Church. Let us pray for those in health professions, that their work with the sick and those in need may serve God’s purposes of love and healing. Let us pray for those who feel distant from God and pray that they may once again feel the joy of knowing that God is with them always.
I have a quote from St. Catherine on the desktop of my computer - she said, “If you are what you should be, you will set the world ablaze.” Let us always seek to be the people God calls us to be, setting the world ablaze with our love, our passion and our great hope in Jesus Christ.
“Born at Siena in the year 1347, she devoted herself to prayer and meditation from a very early age. Her family opposed and harassed her, until her steadfast purpose wore them down and they let her become a postulant in the order of Dominican nuns. For several years she underwent a series of terrible visions and at times felt utterly abandoned by the Lord. This lonely struggle ended at nineteen, when she experienced a vision of the Saviour, with Mary and all the heavenly host, in which Christ espoused her to himself. Catherine became a nurse, caring for patients whom other nurses hated to treat, people with leprosy and cancer. In time she gathered a mixed group of disciples, and together with them she went on extensive tours to preach the gospel.
Soon afterwards she began another mission – this time, to heal a schism which had split the Church between two rival Popes, on in Rome and one in the French city of Avignon. She went to Rome and publicly fasted, attending the Eucharist every day in order to pray for the unity of the Church. The strain of this last campaign proved too much for her and, felled by a stroke, she died on April 29, 1380 at the age of thirty-three.” – An excerpt from For All The Saints
Taught by her example, let us pray for peace and unity within the Church. Let us pray for those in health professions, that their work with the sick and those in need may serve God’s purposes of love and healing. Let us pray for those who feel distant from God and pray that they may once again feel the joy of knowing that God is with them always.
I have a quote from St. Catherine on the desktop of my computer - she said, “If you are what you should be, you will set the world ablaze.” Let us always seek to be the people God calls us to be, setting the world ablaze with our love, our passion and our great hope in Jesus Christ.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Come before Winter
This morning I was just about to leave my apartment and head to morning prayer when I received a call from my mother telling me that my Aunt Karen was dying and that she probably would not last the day.
I was shocked and devestated, but really I should not have been all that surprised. She'd been in Palliative Care for months and cancer had taken over her body. But despite all that, I had convinced myself that we still had plenty of time with her...well, at least until April. I was sure we'd have until April.
I also felt a little guilty that I had taken her continued presence for granted. I had all the good intentions of visiting her every day, and for a while I did that, but of course life interferes and it is difficult to maintain...a missed day turned into a missed week or two so easily. This past Saturday I remembered a passage from Paul's second letter to Timothy. "Do your utmost to come before winter" (NKJV, 2 Timothy 4.9). Paul was imprisoned and likely knew that his death was imminent. He also knew that if Timothy did not come soon, he would probably not be able to make the journey to him during the winter when the passage was trecherous and the Spring time would be too late.
I remembered that bit of scripture and went to see Auntie Karen on Saturday afternoon. Come before winter. She began deteriorating on Monday. I am so blessed to have been able to spend time with her on Saturday, she was alert and in good spirits, we talked about many things that afternoon and I kissed her and hugged her and told her that I love her.
Come before winter - its important to remember! We are given many blessings in this life and many opportunities to live God's blessings. For the most part I don't believe there needs to be an urgency surrounding our lives where we live in a state of panic that we'll miss something if we don't do it right away. However, I do think that we have to be mindful and aware that there are things that do need to be done sooner rather than later, that procrastination can rob us of opportunities to tell people how much they mean to us, and that we should not take anything or anyone for granted.
I saw Auntie Karen this morning. I'm not sure how aware she was but I blessed her and told her again how much I love her. She's surrounded by people she loves and I know that hers will be a good death.
Not a very upbeat posting I know, but I just wanted to remind people to "come before winter".
Erin+
I was shocked and devestated, but really I should not have been all that surprised. She'd been in Palliative Care for months and cancer had taken over her body. But despite all that, I had convinced myself that we still had plenty of time with her...well, at least until April. I was sure we'd have until April.
I also felt a little guilty that I had taken her continued presence for granted. I had all the good intentions of visiting her every day, and for a while I did that, but of course life interferes and it is difficult to maintain...a missed day turned into a missed week or two so easily. This past Saturday I remembered a passage from Paul's second letter to Timothy. "Do your utmost to come before winter" (NKJV, 2 Timothy 4.9). Paul was imprisoned and likely knew that his death was imminent. He also knew that if Timothy did not come soon, he would probably not be able to make the journey to him during the winter when the passage was trecherous and the Spring time would be too late.
I remembered that bit of scripture and went to see Auntie Karen on Saturday afternoon. Come before winter. She began deteriorating on Monday. I am so blessed to have been able to spend time with her on Saturday, she was alert and in good spirits, we talked about many things that afternoon and I kissed her and hugged her and told her that I love her.
Come before winter - its important to remember! We are given many blessings in this life and many opportunities to live God's blessings. For the most part I don't believe there needs to be an urgency surrounding our lives where we live in a state of panic that we'll miss something if we don't do it right away. However, I do think that we have to be mindful and aware that there are things that do need to be done sooner rather than later, that procrastination can rob us of opportunities to tell people how much they mean to us, and that we should not take anything or anyone for granted.
I saw Auntie Karen this morning. I'm not sure how aware she was but I blessed her and told her again how much I love her. She's surrounded by people she loves and I know that hers will be a good death.
Not a very upbeat posting I know, but I just wanted to remind people to "come before winter".
Erin+
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Return of the Prodigal Curate
It has been five months since I've posted on this blog. Mostly because I was on medical leave for all that time. It was a long road to full recovery, but I'm glad to say that I'm there and that I'm feeling 100% better!
When I first learned that I was going to be off work for such a long time, I was really quite upset. Most of my friends couldn't quite understand that when I told them. They wondered who wouldn't enjoy taking that much time off?! And though I knew that it was the best thing for me and I knew that it was a great gift I was being given I found it incredibly difficult to come to terms with the fact that I NEEDED that time off.
I think I felt like I had failed at something.
Looking back, I would never have similar feelings about anyone else who had to go on Long Term Disability. In fact I would counsel them to accept the gift of time and use it to rest, relax, read and just basically do everything they could to make their lives more balanced and rich. The thought never would have crossed my mind that this person had failed. It was simply an unfortunate fact that they were ill and NEEDED that time off.
Why couldn't I be that loving to myself?
I think it actually took me three months or so to come to terms with the fact that I was in a vulnerable position and that out of necessity people were taking care of ME for a change. It was uncomfortable, that's for sure, but once I got used to it I realized that this was a way for other people to minister to me and that I should not cut people off from exercising their ministry.
And therein lay the biggest challenge for me...discovering who I am when I'm not able to minister to others. I was not really able to exercise my priestly ministry for most of 5 months. On top of that, I wasn't really able to be part of my spiritual community. I did not realize how vitally important it is to me to be a part of a spiritual community and to be involved with them on a regular basis in worship and in other events. I guess I took it for granted because I always just have had that community around me. It was hard for me to pray. I felt very alone (even though deep down I knew I wasn't alone).
And so I started reading - a lot. I read some great books and some not so great books, but in reading I felt like I was having spiritual conversations with others - at least with the author.
Three of my favourite books that I read during that time were:
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Where God Happens by Archbishop Rowan Williams
I have to say though, reading Where God Happens affected me the most. Through that book I absolutely fell in love with the Desert Fathers and Mothers. I fell in love with their devotion, their grace, their love and their generosity. I love them I love them I love them.
I read a whole bunch of other books over the five months and I have now re-established a practice of reading that I had lost since leaving Seminary. In Seminary I read a gazillion books because I HAD TO. Now I can start to read books because I WANT TO and because I really do want to grow and change and be nurtured in my faith.
Anyway - this blog is huge already. I will try to wrap up.
I want to thank everyone who prayed for me during that time, and everyone who sent me a lovely card or a lovely message. It meant a lot to know that I was out of sight but not necessarily out of mind. I want to thank Dean Douglas Stoute and Fr. David Brinton for so graciously giving me all the time I needed to recover. I would like to thank Fr. Jeff and Fr. David Bousfield for all they did to cover for me during that time. And I would like to thank the Diocese of Toronto for all of their support and concern.
Of course I want to thank my family and friends who took such good care of me. My parents and sisters, my partner Matt and my friends...especially Heidi, who flew in from Vancouver to just hang out and care for me for a week.
I am feeling better than I have in 2 years. I am so excited to be back at the Cathedral and doing my thing!
I'M BACK!
When I first learned that I was going to be off work for such a long time, I was really quite upset. Most of my friends couldn't quite understand that when I told them. They wondered who wouldn't enjoy taking that much time off?! And though I knew that it was the best thing for me and I knew that it was a great gift I was being given I found it incredibly difficult to come to terms with the fact that I NEEDED that time off.
I think I felt like I had failed at something.
Looking back, I would never have similar feelings about anyone else who had to go on Long Term Disability. In fact I would counsel them to accept the gift of time and use it to rest, relax, read and just basically do everything they could to make their lives more balanced and rich. The thought never would have crossed my mind that this person had failed. It was simply an unfortunate fact that they were ill and NEEDED that time off.
Why couldn't I be that loving to myself?
I think it actually took me three months or so to come to terms with the fact that I was in a vulnerable position and that out of necessity people were taking care of ME for a change. It was uncomfortable, that's for sure, but once I got used to it I realized that this was a way for other people to minister to me and that I should not cut people off from exercising their ministry.
And therein lay the biggest challenge for me...discovering who I am when I'm not able to minister to others. I was not really able to exercise my priestly ministry for most of 5 months. On top of that, I wasn't really able to be part of my spiritual community. I did not realize how vitally important it is to me to be a part of a spiritual community and to be involved with them on a regular basis in worship and in other events. I guess I took it for granted because I always just have had that community around me. It was hard for me to pray. I felt very alone (even though deep down I knew I wasn't alone).
And so I started reading - a lot. I read some great books and some not so great books, but in reading I felt like I was having spiritual conversations with others - at least with the author.
Three of my favourite books that I read during that time were:
Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
Where God Happens by Archbishop Rowan Williams
I have to say though, reading Where God Happens affected me the most. Through that book I absolutely fell in love with the Desert Fathers and Mothers. I fell in love with their devotion, their grace, their love and their generosity. I love them I love them I love them.
I read a whole bunch of other books over the five months and I have now re-established a practice of reading that I had lost since leaving Seminary. In Seminary I read a gazillion books because I HAD TO. Now I can start to read books because I WANT TO and because I really do want to grow and change and be nurtured in my faith.
Anyway - this blog is huge already. I will try to wrap up.
I want to thank everyone who prayed for me during that time, and everyone who sent me a lovely card or a lovely message. It meant a lot to know that I was out of sight but not necessarily out of mind. I want to thank Dean Douglas Stoute and Fr. David Brinton for so graciously giving me all the time I needed to recover. I would like to thank Fr. Jeff and Fr. David Bousfield for all they did to cover for me during that time. And I would like to thank the Diocese of Toronto for all of their support and concern.
Of course I want to thank my family and friends who took such good care of me. My parents and sisters, my partner Matt and my friends...especially Heidi, who flew in from Vancouver to just hang out and care for me for a week.
I am feeling better than I have in 2 years. I am so excited to be back at the Cathedral and doing my thing!
I'M BACK!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Tuesdays
Ah Tuesdays - what can I say? They begin with a meeting and end with meetings. It is the day o' meetings. My family knows that to try to contact me on a Tuesday is fruitless because I am neither at home, nor in the office. I am "away from my desk" for practically the entire day. That said, a lot gets done on Tuesdays; information is exchanged, events are planned, people are fed and ministered to at the Drop-in. Not a bad day's work all in all. When I do get home at the end of it all I am ready to collapse into some sort of minor coma, but at least it means I'll sleep well :)
Tonight I have a dinner meeting at the Bishop's house. Some of the younger clergy and others who are involved with Youth Ministry in the Diocese are getting together to talk about the future of Youth and Youth Ministry.
I find that the biggest question I have about this dinner is...What do I wear?? Generally when going to the Bishop's house for dinner you don't want to go looking like a sloth, on the other hand it is a BBQ and I don't necessarily want to go in my dress-pants and heals and be over dressed. This is one of the questions of young clergy. Can a person wear jeans to the Bishop's house?
I don't know. I may give it a try. Pray for me.
Erin+
Tonight I have a dinner meeting at the Bishop's house. Some of the younger clergy and others who are involved with Youth Ministry in the Diocese are getting together to talk about the future of Youth and Youth Ministry.
I find that the biggest question I have about this dinner is...What do I wear?? Generally when going to the Bishop's house for dinner you don't want to go looking like a sloth, on the other hand it is a BBQ and I don't necessarily want to go in my dress-pants and heals and be over dressed. This is one of the questions of young clergy. Can a person wear jeans to the Bishop's house?
I don't know. I may give it a try. Pray for me.
Erin+
Friday, September 7, 2007
My first Post
I've been encouraged to give this blogging thing a shot. I used to keep a journal and I found the habit of writing down my thoughts very helpful and cathartic... so I'm hoping that this will have much of the same effect.
First, a little bit about myself...just to update the reader.
I am a priest in the Anglican Church, specifically the Diocese of Toronto, more specifically I am the Assistant Curate of St. James Cathedral. I've been at the Cathedral for about 2 1/2 years now and I love it here. The community is wonderful, the liturgy and events and committees and programs are vivid. The place is alive and that is an inspiring environment to work in.
I work with some of the most amazing clergy - The Dean, Douglas Stoute, is a wonderful man who has treated me so well ever since I got here. He's truly been a great supporter of my ministry here and has earnestly tried to help me as I grow into the priest I'm supposed to be. Fr. David Brinton, the Vicar here, has been my supervisor and mentor and has been instrumental in my development as a liturgical and pastoral presence here. I love the way Fr. David thinks, he thinks and talks about God and about the liturgy of the church in a way that both makes sense and yet embraces the mystery. I hope that one day I can be as good as the Dean and the Vicar. In the meantime, I am content to be the Curate with all the triumphs and failures that come with such a learning experience.
Well I think that is enough for my first post...I don't want to be too verbose my very first time. I'm sure more will come later.
-E
First, a little bit about myself...just to update the reader.
I am a priest in the Anglican Church, specifically the Diocese of Toronto, more specifically I am the Assistant Curate of St. James Cathedral. I've been at the Cathedral for about 2 1/2 years now and I love it here. The community is wonderful, the liturgy and events and committees and programs are vivid. The place is alive and that is an inspiring environment to work in.
I work with some of the most amazing clergy - The Dean, Douglas Stoute, is a wonderful man who has treated me so well ever since I got here. He's truly been a great supporter of my ministry here and has earnestly tried to help me as I grow into the priest I'm supposed to be. Fr. David Brinton, the Vicar here, has been my supervisor and mentor and has been instrumental in my development as a liturgical and pastoral presence here. I love the way Fr. David thinks, he thinks and talks about God and about the liturgy of the church in a way that both makes sense and yet embraces the mystery. I hope that one day I can be as good as the Dean and the Vicar. In the meantime, I am content to be the Curate with all the triumphs and failures that come with such a learning experience.
Well I think that is enough for my first post...I don't want to be too verbose my very first time. I'm sure more will come later.
-E
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